But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
