He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
