We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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