apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
