im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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