Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
birth control should be required to get into college
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
