last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
