Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
