Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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