Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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