just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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