At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
oh god was she eating orange peels again
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
