I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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