I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
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