No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
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