the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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