You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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