So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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