Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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