i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
