this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
