JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
His nipple licking is glorious
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