Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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