I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
