she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
