Cold hands, warm shart.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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