my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
