Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
no you cant smoke seaweed
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So vagazzling was a success
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
