i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
