no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize