5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize