Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
