just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
