I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I will pee on everything he values.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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