someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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