apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
