the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
