Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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