Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
