Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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