he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
