sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
