Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
