Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
