Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
