bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
