its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
