I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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