Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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