you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
