youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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