Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i came on her dog
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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