you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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