what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
