She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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