it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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