can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
