As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
