i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
