I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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