The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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