I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize