who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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