We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
