Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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