carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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