At least make sure they are 18
Why
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
