forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
this beer tastes like vomit already
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
