I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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