I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
