i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
