i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize